I was fresh out of my MBA when I landed a special projects role working for a regional VP at a bank.
I had impressed him while working as a banker, and when I moved to Dallas to continue my education, he offered me a position.
I remember one of our first meetings. He laid out a complex market expansion analysis and said:
He gave me a 15-minute overview, answered a few of my questions, and then... that was it. No detailed instructions. No step-by-step process. Just the vision of what "done" looked like.
For weeks, I rarely spoke to him. I researched, analyzed, built models, scrapped them, and started again. I felt simultaneously trusted and terrified.
When I finally presented my work, he nodded and said, "This is exactly what we needed." Later, I asked him why he hadn't checked in more.
His response has stayed with me:
The Shift from Hero to Guide
In the world of leadership, particularly in hospitality, there comes a moment when you must make a profound shift: from being the hero of the story to becoming the guide.
Joseph Campbell, whose "Hero's Journey" framework has influenced everything from Star Wars to marketing strategies, understood that every meaningful story follows a pattern.
The hero leaves their comfort zone, faces challenges, transforms, and returns changed.
In the best stories, heroes don't succeed alone. They have guides: Dumbledore to Harry Potter, Yoda to Luke Skywalker, Mr. Miyagi to Daniel LaRusso.
As a leader in hospitality, your role has evolved. You are no longer the protagonist rushing to fix every problem. You are the wise guide who helps others discover their own path to heroism.
The Guide's Key Responsibilities
Great guides share certain qualities that enable others to succeed on their journeys:
1. They Provide Clarity, Not Control
Brené Brown has a saying I love: "Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind." When team members come to you with questions, they often ask, "What do you want me to do?" But the more powerful question is: "Can you paint 'done' for me?"
When you clearly articulate what success looks like—without prescribing every step—you give people both direction and dignity. You're saying, "I trust you to find the path forward."
2. They Invest Heavily Upfront
One of the most valuable lessons I learned in my organizational development classes was about the "inverted pyramid" of management:
Well-intentioned but unprepared managers start hands-off, then gradually increase control when things don't go as expected.
Discerning managers invest significant time upfront—building trust, establishing clear expectations, and teaching core principles. Then they gradually step back, allowing team members to spread their wings.
The front-loaded investment pays dividends as your team members become increasingly autonomous, and you avoid the trap of becoming a micromanager later.
Avoiding the Learned Helplessness Trap
Psychologist Martin Seligman discovered something fascinating in his research: when beings experience unpredictable negative consequences with no clear connection to their actions, they eventually stop trying altogether. He called this "learned helplessness."
In leadership, we unintentionally create this same condition when our expectations are unclear or constantly shifting. Team members think: "Why try when I can't predict what will satisfy the boss?"
Consider this: a team member submits a report. You say it needs more detail. They add detail. You say it's too long. They shorten it. You say it's missing key points. Eventually, they stop investing creative energy and simply ask, "Just tell me exactly what you want."
Their potential for growth dies in that moment.
Finding Your Guide's Voice
Becoming an effective guide requires practice and intentional focus:
When team members bring problems, ask questions before offering solutions
Set clear expectations about outcomes, but give flexibility on methods
Check your impulse to jump in and "fix" situations that are merely uncomfortable, not truly harmful
Look for opportunities to say, "I trust you to figure this out"
Celebrate not just successes, but courageous attempts and lessons learned
What About You?
Think about a time when someone guided you well through a challenge—when they didn't do the work for you, but helped you discover your own capabilities.
What made their approach effective? How did it change your confidence moving forward?
How might you apply those same principles with your team this week?
Reply and let me know. I'd love to hear your experience.
Take care,
Josh