Are You Giving Away Your Power?

I made a mistake recently that I almost blamed on someone else.

I was rushing between meetings when I promised a hotel partner I'd send them our analytics report by the end of the day. As 5pm approached, I realized I'd completely forgotten.

My first instinct?"Well, if my calendar wasn't so packed...""If only the team had reminded me..."

Then I caught myself.

Those thoughts weren't just untrue – they were robbing me of my power.

Have you noticed how easy it is to fall into the blame trap in our industry?

The kitchen is backed up because the front desk overbooked. Revenue is down because OTAs changed their algorithms. The guest was upset because maintenance didn't fix the issue fast enough.

When I scroll through hospitality forums online, I'm sometimes struck by how much energy goes into blaming others – particularly guests – rather than looking for solutions.

Here's what I've observed: blame is like a comfortable prison cell. It feels oddly satisfying in the moment but ultimately confines us.

Psychologists talk about something fascinating called negativity bias. Negative experiences stick to us like Velcro, while positive ones slide off like Teflon. Our brains are wired to look for threats and problems.

This means when we start looking for reasons to blame, we'll always find them. And once we start seeing the world through this lens, it becomes our default – we start looking for proof that we're right, that others are the problem, not us.

The most transformative leadership lesson I've learned is this:

Your power lives in your response, not in your circumstances.

When we cultivate an internal locus of control – the belief that we influence our outcomes through our choices – we become happier, more effective leaders. We stop asking "Who's fault is this?" and start asking "What can I do about this?"

I saw this play out dramatically during the pandemic. While some hospitality leaders were stuck blaming circumstances beyond their control, others – often with the exact same challenges – found creative paths forward.

The difference wasn't in their situations. It was in where they placed their power.

As leaders, we shape culture not just through what we say but through what we permit. When we allow blame to become currency in our organizations, it spreads rapidly.

At our company, we've made it a practice to replace "They should have..." with "Next time, we could..." It's subtle but powerful. It shifts us from blame to learning, from past to future, from division to unity.

Today, I invite you to notice: Where might you be giving your power away through blame? What would change if you approached every challenge with the question "What can I do about this?"

The answer might surprise you – and unlock possibilities you hadn't seen before.

Take care,

Josh